It’s been quite a while since my last entry but many thoughts have been racing around my brain over the last couple of months. Years actually. I have mentioned it before, and I will say it again. Diets make you fat – or rather they have done that to me! Every time I say the word ‘diet’ my whole being goes into stress mode. Imagine the cortisol streaming through my body, making it even harder to lose weight!

Well, now I have had it. Banting, Intermittent fasting, Low-carb, Keto, all of it. I’m done. It has taken me the best part of my adult life to get to this point. Enough. No more dieting. I have decided I am a healthy, happy, Fabulous Fattie. Yes FATTIE.  Why sugar-coat it? Fat, fat, fat. And fabulous!  Now I visualise the curvy, cuddly body that is me.

At my yearly medical about two weeks ago, I was pronounced in excellent health. Wonderful blood pressure, a strong heart and no scratchy sounds in my lungs. My cholesterol is absolutely normal, as is my blood sugar. What more could I want? My doctor wishes he had my blood pressure.  And even though I have a knee the doctors would like to replace (they said that three years ago) I still manage to walk in my little forest up and down a hill. Slowly, I will admit, but I can do it.

My dad Jack believed in portion control and never gave up his sweets and treats, and in so doing lost his excess adipose tissue. I always admired his self-control, but there are moments in so many people’s lives when that portion-control-switch doesn’t want to switch off. So? What now? I have fought it for too many years, berated myself for failing time and again with every diet I ever tried, and I have tried a few. Even gone to a psychologist, albeit very briefly!

Bad girl, flip-flop, now it’s working, now it’s not. Naaaah. No more.

Why am I a Fattie? The straight answer and bottom line is that I love food. The tastes (oh the tastes!), the visual delights, the cooking, smelling, savouring, and enjoying the delight that is good food. A well-made oxtail that has cooked for a day and a night in the slow cooker can turn me into a food writer. I wax lyrical, and want more. Yep. Simple. If it’s good, my MORE switch gets turned on. My greedy switch. Greedy for good, tasty food, sometimes in cream sauces. (Not the ones with flour in them. Real cream sauces.) That’s where the food sensuality comes in. Bathed in spicy creaminess, redolent with herbs, fork tender, made from scratch, wholesome goodness. Real food. I just LOVE it!

The problem with me and dieting is that I feel guilty and such a failure (again) when I go off the rails. Then I inevitably binge. So no more rails or being obsessed with something I “can’t” have. I don’t want to be obsessed with food and dieting for one more Nano second. I want to go out and have that crème brûlée or an ice cream without guilt. So now I do. I also have French fries, or a baked potato. I make delicious banana pancakes, eat oranges, apples, pineapples and other fruit. What would the diet gurus be saying? CARBS! Don’t eat those carbs!!! I say piss off! (Actually I say a lot worse but feel the need to keep this a little respectable!)

No more rules, no more restrictions, no more deprivation, no more irritation either!  I like bread! So now I make my own with great ingredients. Stone ground organic white and rye flours, raw unpasteurised honey, EV olive oil or real butter, Himalayan salt and filtered water. I generally have two slices a day. Once it is out of the bread machine, I slice up the bread and pack two slices per baggie and put them in the freezer. (That’s after I have had the first two warm slices with butter.) That way the loaf feeds me for 6 days. If I left it out, however, it would be gone by the end of the day! That MORE switch.

So how do I get to be a healthy Fabulous Fattie?  I eat organic vegetables that grow in my garden and I buy local organic produce wherever possible, including pastured pigs not put through dreadful conditions, free range eggs, free range chicken, lamb, game and grass fed beef. I eat dairy, cream, full cream milk and yogurt and indulge in a fancy cheese every so often, and breakfast is often the most awesome “green eggs” with our organic leafy greens, garlic, celery, spring onions, spices and cheddar cheese, all cooked in coconut oil. I have weaned myself off all things that are processed. Mostly.

The only tinned foods I buy are tomatoes and tomato paste, (and that changes when the garden tomatoes ripen), fish and beans. I do not buy anything that has an E number in it, MSG or anything that sounds like it was made in a lab or is unpronounceable. I use only coconut oil, extra-virgin olive oil and sometimes macadamia oil. I also render fat from the free range chickens and other organic meats and use that for cooking as well. For the most I make all my food from scratch. Real, natural food.

I am happy to be a healthy Fabulous Fattie. And I think us FF need to love ourselves and our bodies. I think us gorgeous big girls deserve to dress beautifully in clothes that make us feel good, even if it is a kaftan or a big loose top! Being a FF does not mean we have to be glum and hide our personalities. We fatties are people with great talents, big hearts, and beautiful dreams – just like any thin person. But it’s moments when someone uses the phrase “Fat Cow” that my hackles start to rise. I mean, do you hear people saying “You skinny cow!”? No, you don’t. Maybe skinny bitch…

Do thin people get side-lined for jobs? You know, when the employer doesn’t want to have ‘a fat, lazy person’ around? Lazy!!! Well, fat people may sometimes have a problem moving fast, but I have known some FF that will dance skinnies off their feet, some that will stand for hours making pancakes for fundraising, and those who never tire of helping their kids with academics, sports and celebrations, and FF secretaries who bustle around and make their bosses proud with their excellent contributions and professional demeanour. We are people us Fabulous Fatties, and we need to show the world that we are every bit as good as skinnies everywhere. We need to strut our stuff, hold our heads high and walk with confidence and joy.

I am behind all Fabulous Fatties everywhere. I love you. I want you to feel good about yourselves. I want you to celebrate being alive! And I want you to be a happy, healthy Fabulous Fattie. I’m here for you. I am a Fabulous Fattie